GOD COMES THROUGH THE WOUND
“Illumination comes… through the space created
by your psychic insecurity”… ie: abandonment
complex… becomes the pearl in the half-shell… the
space through which the angels come… the jagged
hole in the chapel wall… allows… the glorious pink
fingers… the purest white chaste light of humility,
prayer and forgiveness… the white chapel sun light
of the forgiving love of God…. the law – creates the
pain, like the sand- the pearl, out of pain… and
the wound creates the space necessary, the crack
through which the dawn comes, and Maitreya, and
the returning Christ… the light of whom even now is
a suggestion of purple out of twilight… the hint of the
dawn of the new age which transcends this base
period, Iron Age, Kali Yuga, age of doubt and
material grasping… out of this wound and pain
out of which blossoms tearful kneeling prayers
and need for that which is beyond our powers
to come and peck at the crack in our psyches
like a mother bird does to the eggshell both
protecting and confining her baby… she breaks
open the crack…. lets in the light… out of the
crack in the eggshell ego comes the annihilation
of the shell… complete removal of confining
protection… and if the psychic space is there,
the tears and the need for prayer…. Grace will come
like a rain of forgiving light more chaste and pure
than anything you could have imagined…. and in
this divine forgiveness, this holy welcome… you
see where you are as you step out across the infinite
galactic spaces – you have come home.
And all the Universe and Mind and Eye and
heart and soul of Soul of God overflows within you
with its blessed greeting of forgiveness… and you see…
for the first time… with eyes washed clean and
made new… that all the cosmos is your bed
and pillows, and the milky way your blanketing
warmth, and the holy blossoming fountain of eternal
truth is your comforter. For you are home… and
you know now your true identity – and you are not who
you thought you were. And you are glad. For you are
deathless as the spring.
The wound of your early life, the bane of your
adolescence, the pain of your earlier maturity… all
have been necessary and useful so that you could
hurt sufficiently that you would seek… and lift your
head and climb the tree at the heart of the world –
all for this – that you may see the Time of Morning.
(C)1990-2018 by W.G. Milne/ Walker Ballantine
CASES FROM THE FEMALE ORGASM CLINIC _______________________________________
Soon as I can get to a scanner, I`ll
scan some of the “Roving Reporter in the Bush” tales,
and the comic sketches drawn by Ernie Taylor of me inhot pursuit of various stories.
(He got the “mad intensity” which is hard
to get, I`m told. Soon as someone points a camera at
me I smile like an innocent schoolboy.)
Of course, looking at me these days, I`m
not fooling anyone.
Maybe I wasn`t fooling anybody when I was
a schoolboy. I had one Grade 2 teacher who hated me
on sight! Maybe she got a glimpse of the mind behind
the mask – the innocent schoolboy act…
I wrote for 2 hours the other morning – a great
true scene of whipping my 2nd wife atop a cliff, near
a waterfall in the spring – with 20 tourists approaching. That girl sure did have a set of lungs!
I had to wrap things up fast….She was screaming…
like I hadn’t told her what I was going to do to her…
Ah, but some of the tourists were running like
they were trying to “save” her. They should have
saved me. I was the one married to her… *
The problem with people who want to try S&M,
they hear it`s sexy… that the PAIN turns to PLEASURE…
if you get caned in the right spot… They’re right, but NOT RIGHT AWAY!
It`s going to hurt a lot first… And that`s when you
spend a little quiet time alone and tell yourself
how sorry you are for all the evil things you`ve
done… (No! I`m kidding!)
Anyway Melissa was losing it, and tourists
were almost making it to the crest of the hill, so I did the
only logical thing. I put Melissa in the trunk of the car.
Out of sight, out of mind…
Then later I went on to describe my use of Mindshocks,
working with a trained psychologist, to cure tortured
women, tortured by their familial repressions… how
Mindshocks help to set these ladies free – by scaring the
shit out of them, if they need it.
Their knees are not pressed so tightly together
after that. And if the women have a tendency to look
at the floor – they don`t look at the floor so much
after the first Surprise.
No, it`s too dangerous to look at the floor. They
look behind them and all around them, and then they see
my trained assistants with notepad ,
padded handcuffs and a short cattle prod, which
is easy to hide when you tuck it up the sleeve of
your white labcoat… when they see that…
Some of them try to run, but they don`t get far. It`s
rare for anyone to get away, like Alice. After all, she`d already paid the fee. Also, there`s the fact that I`m the
only shop in three cities who performs this sort
of high-intensity, quick-fix psychological procedure.
Hell, I might be the only clinic anywhere, who promises to
cure your orgasm problems in ten days, or you money
After several years, most of the women who have
attended the KLEAR YOUR MIND ORGASM CLINIC
after a year or two, I get thank you notes… sometimes
the letters are long and the thanks are effusive; sometimes they even try to find me!
But right off the bat after the procedure, they
usually hate my guts… That`s why I have to get
the money first.
In my one unsuccessful case, out of 19 delighted and appreciative women I got a letter
that was not a thank-you note…It looked like she had
a lawyer or an expensive secretary type it. The words,
“a long and enduring hatred” appeared.
I`ll be seeing her again, but it might take
years, and, all flippancy aside, she has a serious problem,
which will not get better on its own – even if she shoots
her father, or her uncle, whoever she`s sure has caused her such difficulties. *
Speaking of shooting, TRANSFERENCE can be a problem in this specific situation. When she turns her
compulsive spotlight in my direction, it`s quite likely
she`ll try to shoot me. This has happened to me with
members of the fair sex before, but never in a professional relationship.
I can feel her now, prowling the side streets and
parking lots around my old place, a rifle with a scope in her trunk. I should never have taught the lady to shoot.
I had nothing but her best interests at heart. However – it might appear different in her mind – in her enraged,vindictive an extremely pressured state of mind.
I`ll have to be very careful
when I leave the compound, any time soon.
is an extremely attractive, wealthy, apparently stable woman… But she’ll be trouble for any husband. Until she is cured, that is. And she is so very close to a cure. Just give me 3 more nights with her in the clinic.
You see the husband, when he gets naked with her to have sex – and when sex turns out to be a disaster –it`s hard to maintain an erection if you are staring into the
eyes of a woman who looks suspiciously like a black
panther, preparing to eat your spleen.
I have my assistants. Gentle Doctor Laura is
available to placate patients – Laura`s services are always necessary after the initial Mindshock.
The women naturally think they are in the
middle of some weird Machiavellian Nazi experiment
after I lay the electrodes down to tender parts
of their bodies.
It`s almost all for show… Almost!
Thinking again of that poor naked man
before Alice’s glowering onslaught.
Without my instruments I`d feel naked, too.
I use well-fashioned and durable sexual implements… An electric pulse and probe are frequently necessary… and of course there are canes and crops. Electric cuffs may be needed… restraints…prescribed stimulants… padded restraints.
Sometimes I bring in professional studs,
sometimes distractions… Sometimes I use power tools… *
My team are pros at quickly
treating any medical difficulties
Sometimes after the
first surprise PROBE and ZAP, the patient starts to shriek…
and the words LAWSUIT and CHARLATAN often come up… and she`s right.
With the amount of of electrical
and medical lab equipment we have assembled here…
not to mention the powerful prescription drugs. She’s right
that all my methods are not approved.
When the patient starts to shriek “LAWSUIT”
after the first blast of current up her ass, I hit her with the
And soon as they awaken and she`s having
breakfast in her green backless johnny gown, I hit her
with the blast again….. ZOWEEE! MINDSHOCK!
delivered to her lower unit…
I have doubled the current going thru the
electric probe this time .. .
I told you, I get results, and I get `em fast!
I must break down all resistance. And we’re
experts at my lab.
I`m the one who drafts the MEDICAL RELEASE
FORM, and if I do say so myself, it`s a beauty.
I lost one lovely twisted soul 13 months ago… I
happened to spot her sprinting across the lawn.
Sometimes you overdo the initial shock – but really the
shock has to be administered in a closed environment.
An intelligent woman can often sense something
coming. Maybe it`s the snickers of the queer male nurses.
(I keep calling them gay – they insist they`re not gay;
they`re Queer. I`m not sure what the difference is
and I`m not sure I want to know).
William S. Burroughs wrote the book, “QUEER!”
and we all respected him.
I hired the male nurses because they did such a special job of nabbing fleeing patients at the research hospital –
they showed such gusto and skill. (They nabbed
me more than once and I can run like a rabbit when
I`ve got a good head of steam up. Of course, with my
knees strapped together they had the advantage…)
Yes, I make fun. But these women suffer.
And, understand something about my methods:
I claim to cure you quick. And I do. I will.
My team hasn`t had a failure yet.(With one exception
and I`m not finished with her yet.) If my
methods appear to be more like theater than
medicine, well so be it!
I`ve always wanted to get into the theater,
but this is a hell of a way to do it!
As I`ve mentioned before, my clinic is not
sanctioned by the A.M.A. or even by the F.D.A.
I do get referrals from some doctors, but
it`s always on the Q.T. That should be enough
initials for one article.
Word of mouth provides most of my trade –
people who roam the City late at night in the
black-walled darkness of the more unknown bars,
red flickering candles, vampire suits,
and laughter and shouts and confidential talk
when the band stops playing.
“It worked for Alice. She feels a whole lot
better now… She says he was brilliant, a genius.
She said he quoted Dr Wilhelm Reich and his
orgone therapy as well as Mesmer and the Marquis
” Now she wants sex as soon as she sees a
white coat, or hears a certain song
only the doctor knows…”
” You`re kidding, Alice – that has to
be unethical – keeping a hypnotic trigger secret!”
“It`s certainly better keeping it secret –
than telling everybody what it is at the cross-roads!”
Alice laughs out loud and slaps her knee.
“Actually, Jo, that was a joke about the secret
song.” She pats Jo`s hand.
Johanna: “What`s gotten into you?
You haven`t been snorting that drug, inhaling ha! ha! gas again?”
“Relax! I feel fine. I feel great, better
than I have in over a decade. He not only
showed me how to orgasm, he cured my two
pack a day smoking habit….
“My God! How`d he do that?”
Madelaine looked down… along the line of
her leg and boot:
“He showed me how to put something
else in my mouth.”
CHRIST’S EARLIEST TEACHING EMPHASIZED “KNOWING.” THE EMPIRE CHURCH’S ATTEMPTED ANNIHILATION
If the crucifixion was in 65 B.C., as seems likely,
then there is no point in arguing about the so-called
“historical” facts. Because all the facts are wrong.
The WORDS that have come down to us are
more reliable. But not the words of the Empire Church,
which created a marketable G.I. Joe type saviour who did
.. Why did they do this?
They did it because then it is easy to create a CHRIST
MONOPOLY. And they created a Christ monopoly.
If the teacher is a Superman, he becomes property of the
marketing agent. He becomes a saleable item.
There is big money in a monopolized Christ.
You can’t sell indulgences, you can’t sell forgiveness,
unless you have a monopoly.So the Empire Church
gained a monopoly over the Christ turf, because no one
had the power to argue with the narrow doctrine. Because
everybody who argued in the early days, they became dead.
And the church started to SELL FORGIVENESS.
Besides, no one could read in the middle ages except the
priests. So the monopoly was everywhere; the monopoly was
The early Christians who emphasized KNOWING,
they were put to the sword, or burned alive, or exiled. Just
as their libraries and monasteries were burned – and all their
texts and earliest writings were burned.
By the time of the Council of Nicea, Empire Church
doctrine was set. The allowable books were kept, everything else
was so-called heresy. By then, when the church had unified with
the might of Rome, the earliest materials (the Gnostic Gospels =
the earliest Christian Gospels) were destroyed.
This is why the existence of the texts discovered in an
urn in a cave in Egypt, and their existence into the present day,
this is nothing short of a miracle!
Does my teaching seem radical to you?
Remember this: Christ’s teachings were
radical and they are still radical today.
I have been cursed by priests. I have been
told I am going to hell. And when they started to
curse me in Latin, then I knew I was getting
The earliest texts teach the exact opposite
of Empire Church doctrine.
SCORES OF LIZARDS THRU MY MOTEL BRAIN – song lyrics
white light thru the door at Spiro’s Cafe
white white white hot sun at the heart of the day
Black Beauty’s coming soon
Delivery’s at noon
In the junkyard underneath the floor
SCORES OF LIZARDS THRU MY MOTEL
First a throb of love, then a lash of pain
Plastic yellow roses someone’s glued to the wall
Next to a picture of me
Doesn’t look like me at all
Cigar and brandy and me and Old Nick
Poster of a stripper from last year
There’s a crack in the wall and something
comes thru it
What it is I can’t exactly tell.
No sleep for a week, it’s clear as a crystal bell,
Been in the desert now for 40 days…
I walked 100 miles from jail, I haven’t
found my thrill,
With the little people sneaking thru my keyhole once again.
Roxy’s at the corner trying to get some cash,
There’s a gold stamp on it from across the sea,
Can’t seem to find that last kilo flat of hash –
Can’t wait to mix it, smoke it up with some of these!
This is a song from my nitty-gritty drug days. I haven’t recorded it yet, tho I know all the chords. So let’s see!
(C)2008-2018 by W.G. Milne (JOHNNY ROCK AND THE ANGELS)
I’ll write you a prescription;
I’ll write it with honey and blood;
With scraps of newspapers, spring waters
Evergreen berries and mud.
With stars that shine so brightly
On the brilliant axel tree,
Tree on which the world turns,
Leaving you and me to stare
Across the waters by the moon.
To wonder about the promises
We made, or why the time came
So late or so soon.
And wonder where the
Many-coloured river of lights leads us,
Day to day. And why it didn’t turn out
We are here now with the lights flashing
And the silence of the sea, ships’ passing.
Go ahead, laugh! the wild gull of freedom
Waits, and screams his half-mad
And what do I have but words
To reach you across the distances?
I have my kiss,
I have a flood of freshwater tears.
All the stories have been told.
I will not tell you a story.
I will mix you a melody, with a
Thousand ingredients. A melody
Is where it is, it never leads somewhere.
It is either enough or it is nothing.
A melody, it is the stuff of paradise
And dreams; it is the stuff of an empty,
Filthy alley, with cyanide queens
And the growl of hyenas.
The glowing panther eyes become
The flowing semen of the mainstream.
With its eternal ways and means,
Mainstreet. The monkeys laugh!
The impotent bones crack.
All that was proud pounds between
The sidewalk cracks. The wind hits
Like a hammer, the last of winter
I wait now now while the spring melts
Into the morningglow.
And I write you this prescription
From my heart and soul. God knows
It might be all I can give to you that
I wait here in the wildwind and the
Alleyfilth, while the rats bloat,
While the whirlwind turns a
Galaxy of worlds. While the gull
Flies through a new dawn,
And I discard my old clothes.
I wait while the old winter dies
And spring blows.
* * * * * * *
It would be easy to go to sleep again. The world is so very peaceful.
But this is not my purpose.
We have seen some very fine teachers. But they all are dead or in prison. I was in prison for a considerable time…but prison was very
kind to me. I spent ninety days naked in the dark in a cell. And this rescued me.
What are you going to do? You can only play with your body parts so many times. You have one choice – die or meditate.
I’m told people in Tibet would pay to be locked up in a cave, a wall was built behind them. One meal is delivered each day. There are no distractions whatsoever.
Well, I was locked up for free. But there was no T.V. No music. Not even a pencil. I learned how to draw on the walls, using an ashtray. Though there were no cigarettes and there was no way they were going to give me matches.
No, we are living in the so-called normal world and distractions are everywhere. Satisfaction is rare, but there are all kinds of things to occupy
our minds. So very little Mind work is done. There are so many more pleasant things to do.
Though if you pursue the superficial, you are lost at that level.
We are lost at that level though we have a treasure-house within us. We have the ability to become luminous beings, but we ignore our deeper abilities.
I like to put it this way: space is not the final frontier, nor is the ocean. Our human Mind is the final frontier, and let’s never forget this. There are vast regions within that we have yet to discover.
We don’t even have a map of this magnificent country within us.