WAIT-A-BIT! WUZ HANK REALLY THAT RUDE IN THE RAVIN’ TIMES?
Frank says, “I read your last two stories in the Ravin’ Times.
They was kinda crude.”
Hank: Well, I found ’em funny.
Frank: Yeah, but you were pretty far gone.
Hank: What cha mean by that?
Frank: I mean all this talk of menstruating women and ass
Hank: Well, women do menstruate… and in the bush there
are animals. And some animals think the female’s
in heat…. You know this. And there’s no where to
hide up here – unless you build a foxhole. No bathrooms
up here, either. So it’s hard for the gals to be
dainty about personal matters… And ass sniffin’?
Have you ever watched the preacher crawl
around Matilta’s shoes?… when she lays the
whip on and gives him confession.
Hank: Yeh, I hear you. He needs a taste of the whip.
He sure can use some purifyin’.
Frank: You should know. You’ve been reading all his
porn for the past 2 1/2 years… And hiding it
from the preacher all the while.
Hank: Yup, that’s sure put his nose out of joint
all right. He’s mad as hell at me. Heh. Heh.
Frank: I’ve heard ya slappin away in the night.
You’re almost as sick as he is.
Hank: Nah, come on! That’s perfectly natural.
Sick’s not the right word… There’s a
word for it…”
Frank: Yeah, “pervert”! That’s the word for
what you’ve been doing all through
these long winter nights. And the sounds
you mak… Whew!
Hank: That’s coming from you. If you‘re calling
me a pervert, I must be in really
bad shape. Maybe I should see a doctor.
Frank: Or see Matilda. She’ll set you straight.
There are no doctors around here,
but she knows exactly what you need.
Hank: I guess.
Frank: More important, you don’t have to admit it…
(No one needs to know). But I know and you know…
She knows exactly what you want.
That got Hank thinkin. He rested his chin in his hand
and he stared off into empty space – like the sculpture in Paris
from that fella, Rodin. To be honest, Hank didn’t look as
intelligent as that sculpture called, “The Thinker.”
I think all he was seeing was the Great Beyond, like my
My dad used to say, “There’s nothing wrong with Ruth, except
When you look into her eyes you see
the Great Beyond.”
Staring off into the distance and lookin’ at
Nothing much, this’d get Hank agitated. And when
Hank got agitated, his hands would twitch a bit.
And twitching of his hands, that was a sign. A sign that
In no time at all, he’d scuttle off and start digging.
Digging his tunnel towards the East, as if there
was some Great Hurry about the whole thing,
Each time he began his frantic digging, well…
There was no talking to him after that.
Someone should tell him that the East is
4,000 miles away.
There was only the quick sound of his
shovel and the occasional scrape of it when he hit
(C)2016 by W.G. Milne
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