North West Territories,,, only sixteen left in town

The town was so completely destroyed by Friendly Fire no one can remember the name of the town, or exactly where the town was…..We know it  was east of the Mackenzie Rover – but the River moves around a lot and can sweep away sandbars overnight.  The JUICY ROOST HOTEL is only a fond memory in the minds of those of us who still have memories.

A Canadian pilot bombed us returning from the “dance” at Normal Wells the night before. Perhaps he saw something move fast out of the corner of his eye. Perhaps he hated Judge Wilcox like the rest of us —(My evil Uncle Elmer Wilcox was the judge… And everybody knows he was a monster.  But… Henry, no, honest! Henry was the fun guy… as his demise would point out to you. He walked off into the muskeg, perhaps seeing attractive buttocks in a cloud of flies, why knows? He

disappeared with a hard-on and a Walkman… and the thoughts in his head are only speculation)  This is ART in the Mackenzie River drainage basin….

        When you can see the hand in front of your face, despite the ravaging

humming, chittering (and are they laughing?) flies…. when and if you can see your

hand you may have an instant to witness a VanGogh… if you can hold the page

still of the reference book from the decimated Wait-A-Bit Library. If you can

hold the book still for a calm instant, and not scratch any intimate parts… maybe

then you can see the beauty that much of the rest of the world knows…but don`t count on it… better to look at Art thru the uncompromising light of a Coleman Lamp…like light in a surgical matinee… then maybe you see the colours… (if your drug-addicted mad slattern isn`t howling at your with barely noticeable articulation and you can put the reference book on your kitchen table for a moment of rest, then you have a chance… if your door is solid and nailed shut and you can forget the 100 pound weasels just down the shore… the wolverines reputed to have inherited Human  sex glands, intelligence and perversions, changed by some genetic experiment made during the time of the DEW line. THEN maybe you can

look at a Van Gogh painting, but don`t count on it….

EDIT 2X????C((((((Most of this is legend.. some of it is merely rumour, tho quite recent rumour….tapes exists – the words of several horrified and astounded victims)

Officially, none of us believe them… But we know the truth when we       hear it… ((some drunks have gone missing))))))))))Perhaps the pilot saw something move  fast out if the corner of his eye; perhaps he hated the architecture of the Town Hall or the A&P, Perhaps he hated Judge Wilcox , too…. he definitely had that perfect hand to eye co-ordination some of are lucky enough to have, no matter how drunk we might happen to be…One thing ya gotta say about the kid, no matter what psychotic thoughts were passing thru his brain, he was a hell of a shot… His aim was pretty terrific

            There was also the rumour that he fired at Artie`s Bar because he`dheard that Artie was screwing one of the Arctic Dixie Chicks… the flyboy`s favourite….young men can be hot-headed at some times…. I heard the first building that went up was THE  BUILDING RIGHT BEHINDArtie`s HOLE IN THE GROUND BAR…where Artie did indeed nail TRIXIE more times than I can count.

         She was the hottest of the Arctic Dixie chicks…. and she danced

extremely suggestively with a body to launch 1000 jets… great rolling buttocks, short skirts knee high leather boots with chrome stiletto heels….. a bit of whimsy which… always endeared herto me and to Psycho Fly-boy, which is now his handle… and will be`til he becomes legend in Hank’s one page newspaper… put out at unpredictable times. So twelve minutes later, I attended at what presently is our city hall, jail,,,  It`s that board and baton ersatz brick-faced structure that  rises up out of the roof of Artie`s bar.

        I knocked and knocked and then craned my neck and looked thruthe twelve-paned, wooden framed window… which isthe biggest picture winda on the Main Lane… I saw the mayor passed out in what was my nagahyde Lazy-Boy armchair, which I donated to the Town of Wait-A-Bitone long winter night with Matilda…. Matilda being electedmayor after me, I thought it was only fair to create a traditionof a comfortable mayor chair. Of course, I was intoxicated at the time, or I would have remembered it was the only chair I had.

     Matilda was passed out unconscious after having performed her mayoralty duties the night before.I noticed she still had the soccer pads on her knees…so I knew she had been hard at work til dawn doing the municipal works.

            It was hard to begrudge her my chair at a tender time like that.

           Later Hank was reading this passage  about falling in love with Matilda`s Ass, and 4 inch chrome spiked heels.

          “Endeared her to you ! That`s rich.. I caught you licking and sucking those heels in her closet – sitting in the dark by yourself…”

           “That wasn’t me,” I say. Was the man a spy? I don`t like spies – they catch me… doing things….I hate to ask this, … I know Trixie`s dead”… but ”What happened to..?”.“WHAT HAPPENED TO HER BOOTS?!!!

You are one sick fuck, Santa…”

“Maybe so… but,,, ANSWER MY QUESTION, FOOL!” “Hey!”

      How did that happen?… Where did my gun com, from… in my hand and  pointed right between his eyes?”

      Hank pants…. Standing with the gun, “You`re not serious.


So he told me pretty quick….I don`t know where all these remembered moments come from… must be the flies….or Maybe it`s because I haven`t even seena woman`s ass in 13 months…. and some stupid fuck burned all my “Real Ass” magazines…He blew up  all my computer connectionsAnd by the time you get LEG ACTION  up here…….the copy is in tatters.

                                     *    *     *


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