So I went to see Clinton just down the street. He was in a bad mood; he drank way too much Wray and Nephew’s
“full strength RUM” …I love that stuff so I’m not judging, only saying…
He said: “What does a white man know about Jamaica? Or reggae?”
I say, “You already know what I know.” He already has three of my albums.
You know how people get when they’re plastered.
I used to walk the little prick to school. And I never liked school. I thought the teachers were lying – just like the priests.
* * *
OK, to be half-way fair, some of the teachers were
great people. But not good with business. They could teach you grammar ( and thank God for that). But they could not run a shoeshine parlour.
Remember that when you elect your next premier.
* * *
(I shouldn’t say this —- just when she might be getting smart.)
That’s not the punch line! Give me a few minutes… maybe an hour…
I’m worse than the teachers!
* * *
I’m a bit of a hermit. So I had to get out.
I went to see Marty just down the street.
I say, ” Marty, your kitchen is full of garbage and flies! Why don’t you just toss it?”
He said: “If I throw out the garbage, the fruit flies come for me!”
*****************
Don’t bother me. I’m drinking.
******************
Those stories I found hilarious the night before; they’re not always so funny in the morning.
*************************
Especially If my wife reads them.
Wait a minute, I don’t
have a wife..?
Do I?
*****************************
I get all these messages from women on a dating site (which I don’t pay for)… I look at their pictures, some of which I’ve already seen in skin mags.
I say, “yeah right! This centerfold really needs a date!”
*******************************
Though some of these ladies are real people, And I’d
like to talk to them… but I’m not paying $39. 99 each month for the privilege.
Besides, it’s just possible – they’d be better off without me.
Ho! Ho! I don’t believe that.
(C)2017 by W.G. Milne
