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NOTE:((NEEDS AN EDIT! Over 18 only – this seems obscene……. But ob seen worse.))
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Poncho & Lefty messed up this hotel
I’m here, room service will not hear me yet;
The Mob they thought I had a certain debt,
I paddled down to Mexicali hell.
Bus driver doesn’t need a map, he says
He just might tell the truth if I relax;
I better take a sail to Ja-make-eo
Push a bus uphill chock full of ho’s
(Note: This really happened
Returning from Savannah La Mar
Heading to Negril. They weren’t hos
They wuz just party girls)
A tongue in both your ears will wake you up
real quick
I got back on the bus and I found out
“Meet us tonight at the Soon Come disco,”
they said
“We’ll give you something else you won’t forget.”
I need some sour-sop juice & that’s no joke,
I must lie down, pass out before I poke;
While Jenna leans so sexy by the door,
My balls they be conflicted to the core.
Captain Jack he sails south just as we wrote,
A full moon on the Grand Bank’s not like this;
Banana trees are sneaking cross my yard
right now
While Davey G’s best lady rubs my nards.
(NOTE: “nards” – one of Paddy’s favorite
expressions)
I don’t care so much, I got my hoodie
Her buttocks blossoming gives me a woody;
I didn’t fuck her gotta tell you to be true,
I relieved myself four times into the dew.
(Editor’s note: WHOOPS!)
Did I get some thanks, no not at all!
I felt real true blue pressure in my balls;
Maybe I’ll sail north to Montreal
A lady I know there will give me all
With three mobsters after my appendage
I tend to watch all night, see who’s around
The prairie oysters they collect from
unsuspecting men
Makes em giggle all night long while chewing them.
(Ed. NOTE: No! Shoot the poet!)
I grew up in the circus with my daddy
Where hookers were gals and also men
And with the appetite of all them prairie folk
Hide out in your jockstrap with a 4:10!
((editor’s note: OUCH!!))

Jpeg
Hi Willie!
(This is god awful poetry!
That prick’s gonna have to pay me more
And bring me another bottle quick!
yours truly, Editor 666)
THESE GUYS ARE CHARACTERS FROM WAIT-A-BIT!
Reblogged this on THE DAILY RANT and commented:
Loaded when I wrote this…. Captain Jack never quite made it to Jamaica.
He got unavoidably detained in a tax haven.
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