Friday, July 29, 2016
WHY DOES THAT BITCH KEEP TAKING MY PARKING SPACE!!?
Looked bad….. worked like a coolie all day. Didn’t like it. Trying to find a place where I can sit against a stone wall in the shade. And drink… with no one bothering me.
That’s easier said than done.
So I put my feet in a small stream and sit against the brick wall of Marin’s house… She has been my woman for a while… maybe she still is. Part of her hates me. Well, that’s normal. No need to worry there.
I sit there and cool off. Did I say the day is hot? It is hot as a motherfucker – as a cat on a hot tin roof… as a snail molusking across hot asphalt at noon on the summer solstice. Pain! Pain! Pain! Hot as me in my apartment, upstairs above a store.
Hot as dripping balls, hot as your bare ass sitting down on a steaming winter radiator…
I pour water over my head, even pour some chilled white wine. I snort some of the cool wine right up my nasal cavities….ooooo
what a burn!
Starting to feel a little better, still hot as hell. I have a deep drink of the highly chilled Colli Albani. Yeah, I know it’s not classy… but it works great when well-iced.
My sinuses feel a little better. My face is hot and my head is sweating. I look into the woods.
There are wavy lines of heat everywhere in the air… Or maybe that’s just me.
I hear some screaming from around the corner. I’m too tired to even look.
Now I’m hearing some slaps and the grunts and growls of ferocious women. Oh, I’ve heard those sounds before. And I know who it is.
“What the hell’s going on?”I say.
“My neighbour’s mother keeps parking in my parking space…” Marin says, ” And she has her daughter’s empty parking place right next to mine!”
The heat’s getting to everybody.
“Yeah I can see how that might be a piss-off,” I say.
Two empty parking places side by side on a hot day. Then the mother drives back in again.
The woman drives back down the street and parks in Marin’s space again.That’s really pushing it. Marin has been known to get a tad violent on occasion. Even when she likes you,
things can get rough. And she really doesn’t like this woman.
Once again she parks in Marin’s space,
really rubbing it in.
She walks past Marin about five feet away, and says:
” You!Don’t talk to me! I’M IGNORING YOU!”
“I want to twist her her neck like a chicken’s,” Marin says, “But I’m restraining myself.”
“Why does she keep parking in your space? And walking by right in your face? Is she nuts?” I ask.
“Her daughter’s space is right next to yours and it’s always empty. Why does she do it?” I ask.
“Because she’s A CUNT!” Marin says.
That summed it up.
You ever notice, when someone uses the “C” word, especially if they shout ‘CUNT!’ loud enough to be heard the next block over…
it tends to be the last word said in most conversations?
You want to have the last word?
I’d crawled around the corner to look at the scene unfolding… Now I’m crawling right back around into the shade. No words are necessary. I’m too hot to talk.
No one has any firearms or sharp implements.
Not yet, anyway.
(C)2016 by W.G. Milne