HOW TO GET MEDIA ATTENTION WHEN YOU’RE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT

 

 

HOW TO GET MEDIA ATTENTION WHEN YOU’RE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT

________________________________________________________

 

(1) SAY OR DO SOMETHING OUTRAGEOUS.

 

(2) There will be a furor, an outraged protest

about what you have said or done

INSULT THE PROTESTORS!

 

(3) When various groups come out against you,

and even more  of the same ethnic groups

start to hate you…

INSULT THEIR PARENTAGE!

 BERATE AND MOCK AND INSULT THIS TYPE OF PEOPLE,

STRESS THEIR  INADEQUACIES!!

  MAKE FUN OF THEIR LAUGHABLE LACK OF MECHANICAL SKILLS…

INSULT THE QUALITY OF THE ROTTEN CARS THEY MAKE AND DRIVE

 

(4) When asked by the press what the hell you think you’re doing,

explain to the reporters that they are not well enough educated

to even write a sentence properly. State that their editors,

all of them, are mentally challenged; and the owners are

so insufficient financially, that: “THEY COULDN’T EVEN RUN

A SHOESHINE PARLOR!”

THEN OFFER PROOF OF WHAT YOU SAY!

 

(5 )  When people scream that you are a racist… Put on a show,

LOOK PERPLEXED, AS IF YOU ARE THINKING ON THE MATTER.

DON’T CLARIFY. DO NOT EXPLAIN…DISAVOW!!

THEN MAKE A STATEMENT THAT IS OBVIOUSLY UNTRUE.

 

(6) Enjoy a quiet interlude, have cognac for

a few hours… watch cable T.V.

CALL UP A TELEVISION STATION AND INSULT A POPULAR

FEMALE NEWS ANCHOR. TELL HER SHE’S TOO STUPID

TO READ THE NEWS, SAY YOU CAN SEE HER ARTICULATION

SLIPPING!

TELL HER YOU’LL GIVE HER A JOB ANYWAY…

YOU’LL PAY HER PLENTY TO COME  OVER TO YOUR HOTEL

AND MASSAGE YOUR FEET FOR A FEW HOURS…

 

(5) BE SURE TO INSULT YOUR POLITICAL OPPONENTS.

EVERY CHANCE YOU GET, CALL ONE OF THEM A LIAR!

STRESS THAT YOUR OTHER OPPONENT IS TOO SMALL

OF STATURE TO EVER BE PRESIDENT, AND HIS BRAIN IS

TOO SMALL   TO CONSIDER  BIG ISSUES.

 

Hire extra security and learn to duck quickly

 

(6) GO BACK TO NUMBER 1

A REPEAT ALL FIVE STEPS

DAILY.

 

 

(C) 2016 by W.G. Milne

 

 

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