I had a chat with Uncle Henry the other night.

I asked him what to do when the

power runs out:

He looked at me as if I was an idiot or ejeet as Henry

says it…and this is what he said.


1. Buy yerself a fuckin woodstove.

( no, no Henry… when livin in the city)


2. Oh…. well livin in the city yous probly a ejeet

already. So my advice woule be… Git yerself

8 roils of toilit pepper… Sos you kin wipe yer

ass in the dark.


(tHAT’S IT? i ASK)


3. Nos but i’m trynna be polite. Git yerself a Lee n Enfield

303 rifle and shit yerself in da head.




4. Watz da fuckin temrature?


(40 degrees below zero Farenheit)


5. Meybee y’a otta cut yer balls off then shit yerself

in the dark


(You mean shoot yourself in the head?)


6. Ya, datz wot I said, Fukface!


7. OK OK, git yerself a lotta candles…

Becuzz ya probly kant find yer asshole with both

hands and a flashlight!


(Come on, Henry!)


8. Fuk you with a tenpople, Willie! If yas dum enuff

ta live ina city ya otta know yur gonna die like a

rat ina wet shithole, while yas swimmin n squealin

fer yer life, fukhead!


9. I got no more time for dis shit!


Well, that’s Uncle Henry for ya. When I say bushman, i mean

bush man. One thing about Uncle Henry, “HE SEZ WOT HE MEANS

an HE MEANS WOT HE SEZ!” No question about that.

He has other sayings which I’d rather not post right now.



**            (C)2016 by W.G. Milne


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