NO MER TIME FER DIS SHIT!
I had a chat with Uncle Henry the other night.
I asked him what to do when the
power runs out:
He looked at me as if I was an idiot or ejeet as Henry
says it…and this is what he said.
*
1. Buy yerself a fuckin woodstove.
( no, no Henry… when livin in the city)
*
2. Oh…. well livin in the city yous probly a ejeet
already. So my advice woule be… Git yerself
8 roils of toilit pepper… Sos you kin wipe yer
ass in the dark.
*
(tHAT’S IT? i ASK)
*
3. Nos but i’m trynna be polite. Git yerself a Lee n Enfield
303 rifle and shit yerself in da head.
*
(WHAT?)
*
4. Watz da fuckin temrature?
*
(40 degrees below zero Farenheit)
*
5. Meybee y’a otta cut yer balls off then shit yerself
in the dark
*.
(You mean shoot yourself in the head?)
*
6. Ya, datz wot I said, Fukface!
*
7. OK OK, git yerself a lotta candles…
Becuzz ya probly kant find yer asshole with both
hands and a flashlight!
*
(Come on, Henry!)
*
8. Fuk you with a tenpople, Willie! If yas dum enuff
ta live ina city ya otta know yur gonna die like a
rat ina wet shithole, while yas swimmin n squealin
fer yer life, fukhead!
*
9. I got no more time for dis shit!
Well, that’s Uncle Henry for ya. When I say bushman, i mean
bush man. One thing about Uncle Henry, “HE SEZ WOT HE MEANS
an HE MEANS WOT HE SEZ!” No question about that.
He has other sayings which I’d rather not post right now.
** (C)2016 by W.G. Milne
