Wednesday, July 9, 2014





           I was scanning the history of the early Christians

this morning and these words jumped out

 at me:


“I am the first and the last.

I am the honoured one and the scorned one.

I am the whore and the holy one.

I am the wife and the virgin.

I am the mother and the daughter…

I am the barren one

    and many are her sons.”


                                      (The Thunder, Perfect Mind)


       Not only are these words strange because

God is speaking as a woman,

these words are odd also because

most of the statements are stating

contradictions, paradox… and are speaking also

from a perspective that  somehow unifies

  these contradictions.

        I am a mystic, not so much a scholar.

The scholarly details do not matter to me

so much – it is the being beneath the words,

   the hints of a conscious continuity

deeper than the  either of the

 two extremes.



        This being which transcends individuals,

  which is  omnipresent beneath the opposites

expressed  in this poem –

this “being” that is beneath and beyond –

this is what a mystic focuses on…

the deeper being, the being that is the

 continuity of all things… 

       This mind within and

without all things: this knowing the inner

and the outer, the holy and the abomination,

the beauty and ugliness, opposites emanating from the

two sides of the same coin.

        Paradoxical problems,  contradictions at the deepest level,

these are useful because

these are the mind-breakers, the “mindshocks”

that smash the unbending concepts of the

“intellectual” mind.


       This is what the mystic quest is all

about – and, to be honest – the mystic quest

and the Grail quest are

one and the same thing, so far as I am

concerned. Except the

mystic quest does not need to have

any  Christian trappings.

        The mystic must confront

the sacred, nevertheless; and the mystic

must also confront the profane.

        Sometimes, and this can be confusing,

 the sacred and the profane are both

embodied in the same vessel – such as

Mary Magdalene.

         I think of her as I read this poem,

as it is said, in the Gospel of Phillip,

she was most beloved of the saviour.


        The poem continues:


“I am the solace of my labour pains.

I am the bride and the bridegroom,

and it is my husband who begot me.

I am the mother of my father

    and the sister of my husband,

    and he is my offspring.

 I am the slave of him who prepared me.

I am the ruler of my offspring.

But he is the one who begot me before the time

     on a birthday.

And he is my offspring in due time

     and my power is from him.

I am the staff of his power in his youth,

     and he is the rod of my old age.

      And whatever he wills happens to me.

I am the silence that is incomprehensible…

I am the utterance of my name.



        These words, on the surface,

make no sense at all! But don’t be discouraged.

Don’t stop at the first gate to the temple.


      The poem is a lot longer than than the verses I

quoted. I meant to print out only a few lines,

but the beauty and the flow and the magic of it

caught me.



“I am shameless; I am ashamed.”



“Do not be arrogant to me when I am cast out upon 

        the earth,

  You will find me in those who are to come.

  Do not look upon me on the dung-heap

        nor go and leave me cast out,

        and you will find me in the kingdoms.”



         These last few lines remind me very

much of the words of Christ:


“Whoever is cruel and arrogant to the least of these”..

  these  poor, ragged outcasts…



        DOES IT TO ME.”



        Once it is known that the godhead

 can be found in every and all aspects of life, and

in all places however foul and lowly… that

the person there might also be the great king…

 perhaps we will not be so cruel to others

  when we realize we are being cruel to God

as well.The whole Circle

turns round the MInd at the mandala’s



      I got swept away by the poetry of the words…

It is in the very contradictions of this poem

that the mystic truth resides.

         Don’t bother trying to approach a mystic

  reality with your intellectual mind, you’ll

have no luck at all. No, your mind must

penetrate through the contradictions…

in order to find the core, the source

of the fountain.

          If you are trying to catch a fish

in a stream, don’t use a bowl.

“Why, you who hate me, do you love me

        and hate those who love me?”



          You can feel the pain in these words…

coming from a person who has known what

it is like to be an outcast… coming from the

suffering, the  poor and the ragged…

coming from the tender mercy in this

divine woman’s heart.



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