CASES FROM THE FEMALE ORGASM CLINIC _______________________________________
Soon as I can get to a scanner, I`ll
scan some of the “Roving Reporter in the Bush” tales,
and the comic sketches drawn by Ernie Taylor of me inhot pursuit of various stories.
(He got the “mad intensity” which is hard
to get, I`m told. Soon as someone points a camera at
me I smile like an innocent schoolboy.)
Of course, looking at me these days, I`m
not fooling anyone.
Maybe I wasn`t fooling anybody when I was
a schoolboy. I had one Grade 2 teacher who hated me
on sight! Maybe she got a glimpse of the mind behind
the mask – the innocent schoolboy act…
I wrote for 2 hours the other morning – a great
true scene of whipping my 2nd wife atop a cliff, near
a waterfall in the spring – with 20 tourists approaching. That girl sure did have a set of lungs!
I had to wrap things up fast….She was screaming…
like I hadn’t told her what I was going to do to her…
Ah, but some of the tourists were running like
they were trying to “save” her. They should have
saved me. I was the one married to her… *
The problem with people who want to try S&M,
they hear it`s sexy… that the PAIN turns to PLEASURE…
if you get caned in the right spot… They’re right, but NOT RIGHT AWAY!
It`s going to hurt a lot first… And that`s when you
spend a little quiet time alone and tell yourself
how sorry you are for all the evil things you`ve
done… (No! I`m kidding!)
Anyway Melissa was losing it, and tourists
were almost making it to the crest of the hill, so I did the
only logical thing. I put Melissa in the trunk of the car.
Out of sight, out of mind…
Then later I went on to describe my use of Mindshocks,
working with a trained psychologist, to cure tortured
women, tortured by their familial repressions… how
Mindshocks help to set these ladies free – by scaring the
shit out of them, if they need it.
Their knees are not pressed so tightly together
after that. And if the women have a tendency to look
at the floor – they don`t look at the floor so much
after the first Surprise.
No, it`s too dangerous to look at the floor. They
look behind them and all around them, and then they see
my trained assistants with notepad ,
padded handcuffs and a short cattle prod, which
is easy to hide when you tuck it up the sleeve of
your white labcoat… when they see that…
Some of them try to run, but they don`t get far. It`s
rare for anyone to get away, like Alice. After all, she`d already paid the fee. Also, there`s the fact that I`m the
only shop in three cities who performs this sort
of high-intensity, quick-fix psychological procedure.
Hell, I might be the only clinic anywhere, who promises to
cure your orgasm problems in ten days, or you money
After several years, most of the women who have
attended the KLEAR YOUR MIND ORGASM CLINIC
after a year or two, I get thank you notes… sometimes
the letters are long and the thanks are effusive; sometimes they even try to find me!
But right off the bat after the procedure, they
usually hate my guts… That`s why I have to get
the money first.
In my one unsuccessful case, out of 19 delighted and appreciative women I got a letter
that was not a thank-you note…It looked like she had
a lawyer or an expensive secretary type it. The words,
“a long and enduring hatred” appeared.
I`ll be seeing her again, but it might take
years, and, all flippancy aside, she has a serious problem,
which will not get better on its own – even if she shoots
her father, or her uncle, whoever she`s sure has caused her such difficulties. *
Speaking of shooting, TRANSFERENCE can be a problem in this specific situation. When she turns her
compulsive spotlight in my direction, it`s quite likely
she`ll try to shoot me. This has happened to me with
members of the fair sex before, but never in a professional relationship.
I can feel her now, prowling the side streets and
parking lots around my old place, a rifle with a scope in her trunk. I should never have taught the lady to shoot.
I had nothing but her best interests at heart. However – it might appear different in her mind – in her enraged,vindictive an extremely pressured state of mind.
I`ll have to be very careful
when I leave the compound, any time soon.
is an extremely attractive, wealthy, apparently stable woman… But she’ll be trouble for any husband. Until she is cured, that is. And she is so very close to a cure. Just give me 3 more nights with her in the clinic.
You see the husband, when he gets naked with her to have sex – and when sex turns out to be a disaster –it`s hard to maintain an erection if you are staring into the
eyes of a woman who looks suspiciously like a black
panther, preparing to eat your spleen.
I have my assistants. Gentle Doctor Laura is
available to placate patients – Laura`s services are always necessary after the initial Mindshock.
The women naturally think they are in the
middle of some weird Machiavellian Nazi experiment
after I lay the electrodes down to tender parts
of their bodies.
It`s almost all for show… Almost!
Thinking again of that poor naked man
before Alice’s glowering onslaught.
Without my instruments I`d feel naked, too.
I use well-fashioned and durable sexual implements… An electric pulse and probe are frequently necessary… and of course there are canes and crops. Electric cuffs may be needed… restraints…prescribed stimulants… padded restraints.
Sometimes I bring in professional studs,
sometimes distractions… Sometimes I use power tools… *
My team are pros at quickly
treating any medical difficulties
Sometimes after the
first surprise PROBE and ZAP, the patient starts to shriek…
and the words LAWSUIT and CHARLATAN often come up… and she`s right.
With the amount of of electrical
and medical lab equipment we have assembled here…
not to mention the powerful prescription drugs. She’s right
that all my methods are not approved.
When the patient starts to shriek “LAWSUIT”
after the first blast of current up her ass, I hit her with the
And soon as they awaken and she`s having
breakfast in her green backless johnny gown, I hit her
with the blast again….. ZOWEEE! MINDSHOCK!
delivered to her lower unit…
I have doubled the current going thru the
electric probe this time .. .
I told you, I get results, and I get `em fast!
I must break down all resistance. And we’re
experts at my lab.
I`m the one who drafts the MEDICAL RELEASE
FORM, and if I do say so myself, it`s a beauty.
I lost one lovely twisted soul 13 months ago… I
happened to spot her sprinting across the lawn.
Sometimes you overdo the initial shock – but really the
shock has to be administered in a closed environment.
An intelligent woman can often sense something
coming. Maybe it`s the snickers of the queer male nurses.
(I keep calling them gay – they insist they`re not gay;
they`re Queer. I`m not sure what the difference is
and I`m not sure I want to know).
William S. Burroughs wrote the book, “QUEER!”
and we all respected him.
I hired the male nurses because they did such a special job of nabbing fleeing patients at the research hospital –
they showed such gusto and skill. (They nabbed
me more than once and I can run like a rabbit when
I`ve got a good head of steam up. Of course, with my
knees strapped together they had the advantage…)
Yes, I make fun. But these women suffer.
And, understand something about my methods:
I claim to cure you quick. And I do. I will.
My team hasn`t had a failure yet.(With one exception
and I`m not finished with her yet.) If my
methods appear to be more like theater than
medicine, well so be it!
I`ve always wanted to get into the theater,
but this is a hell of a way to do it!
As I`ve mentioned before, my clinic is not
sanctioned by the A.M.A. or even by the F.D.A.
I do get referrals from some doctors, but
it`s always on the Q.T. That should be enough
initials for one article.
Word of mouth provides most of my trade –
people who roam the City late at night in the
black-walled darkness of the more unknown bars,
red flickering candles, vampire suits,
and laughter and shouts and confidential talk
when the band stops playing.
“It worked for Alice. She feels a whole lot
better now… She says he was brilliant, a genius.
She said he quoted Dr Wilhelm Reich and his
orgone therapy as well as Mesmer and the Marquis
” Now she wants sex as soon as she sees a
white coat, or hears a certain song
only the doctor knows…”
” You`re kidding, Alice – that has to
be unethical – keeping a hypnotic trigger secret!”
“It`s certainly better keeping it secret –
than telling everybody what it is at the cross-roads!”
Alice laughs out loud and slaps her knee.
“Actually, Jo, that was a joke about the secret
song.” She pats Jo`s hand.
Johanna: “What`s gotten into you?
You haven`t been snorting that drug, inhaling ha! ha! gas again?”
“Relax! I feel fine. I feel great, better
than I have in over a decade. He not only
showed me how to orgasm, he cured my two
pack a day smoking habit….
“My God! How`d he do that?”